Where to start is a question one needs to think about when telling a story. Do you start at,"In the beginning," or take the ridiculous approach that there was no beginning as many have foolishly fallen into believing based on no real facts just the constant changing of unrealized drivel of well spoken morons who point to their numerous degrees given to them by other degree bearing morons as claim of proof they actually know what they are talking about. I suppose I could start at the beginning but I won't for the sake of brevity. I will start with the now and as necessity requires pull from the past.
The present is a time where mankind finds itself on a precipice and needing to make a decision, do they continue listening to the constant drivel from the never ending stream of what can only be described as verbal diarrhea or slow down and go back to the truth and the understanding they are not the creator. With that said let us now look at one man.
I will call him George as his only real desire is to walk away into some jungle and just live, where no one would judge him by the color of his skin, the mode of transportation he chooses or the size of his house or how much crap he owns to fill that house with. George would have done just that years ago, accept for one thing, he loved his wife and daughters more than words were ever adequate to explain.
George as we meet him today is a man with six daughters ages thirty to ten and he is only forty three and has only been married to his only wife for thirteen years. As you guessed he married a woman who had been married before. For him it was not love at first sight though he did lust after her the third time he had seen her and had noticed her tan legs. Then a few weeks later when this pretty little thing asked who he was and his wife said he was spoken for when he had never even known they were an item as he had never asked her out or even had lunch with her at work. Not long after that he did and as she liked to go dancing he took her and after a couple of beers had been relaxed enough to kiss her when they parted ways. Like so many others he had taken her out to the desert to look at stars, he was not trying to be romantic that night as he just liked to look at stars but she had other thoughts on the subject and the opportunity for sex came up and he told her he was of the notion only if she married him would he take from her what she had wanted to give. She had agreed and that night they had become one flesh and in his way of thinking and of course according to the Good Book they were one before the Maker. Working out the details of their living arrangements as she had four daughters who he pretended he did not know had taken their own liking to, and he had taken up residence in a much too small an apartment that was convenient for his then current employment.
As soon as his lease had been up they moved into a house and with a yard much smaller than he cared for but which was large enough to allow a menagerie of critters, a camp fire and small pond where he let one of the dogs fish for what turned about to be prized exotic fish. He had had to pretend to speak harsh to that dog but never took the fish away when she caught them, which meant the dog knew it was okay to keep fishing for those treats. It was after his second daughter was born and the struggle his wife had gone through that he had made the decision to never put her through that again. For him the decision to be recalibrated for her entertainment was an easy one and one that he had been happy to make.
Now though we find George sitting looking out over the water from what was the twelfth house they were living in. Like all the rest they did not own this house but they were out of debt completely and his wife had made a good deal with one of his friends whose family had owned the property for almost two hundred years.
George at forty five had begun to notice the changes which befall a man and though on the outside people still saw a strong man he knew that his body had begun the downhill slide to his entrance into eternity. His wife who for some reason had gotten more feisty in certain areas of life did not seem to understand his drive to make certain changes one of which was starting yet another business or rather five businesses simultaneously and his drive to leave the rainforests and return to the deserts which she called home, and some place she had longed to return to for most of their life away. For George it was simple he wanted her to have her own home that she could call hers and a place for her grandchildren to come visit her and hopefully a place where she would be comfortable enough to let him pursuit being fruitful and multiplying in other areas of his life since he could no longer father children at least not without another surgery and well another wife as his wife was past her childbearing years.
Over the past couple of years she had seen the sadness in him and had at times harangued him thinking he was no longer interested in her; he would prove otherwise and for a time hide the sadness but more and more as she had accepted the fact there were no other women and though she did not understand she tried to empathize with him. That was not what George wanted and it only made him sadder as he thought about the son he would never have or all the times when he could have stayed somewhere and given her the house she deserved of her own. George looked back and knew the journey was what had bonded them but at times wondered what would have happened if he had not left her home, would he be the man he was today.
George knew the answer and at times as he considered his life he thought of the what if's and as one of his elders had once told him he could do anything he put his mind too as learning to him was like breathing it just happened. The life he chose was one of simplicity and though over the years he had earned millions it had to cover the hobbies of his wife and children and even now as his health had changed in such a way he was being forced to start another company if he wanted to keep working he found his only hobby was collecting paychecks. This only deepened his sadness which was effecting his relations with his children and to some extent with his wife. By morning he knew he would push it back far enough to be able to laugh for awhile he also knew that before the next week started that perpetual sadness which sat right next to his chosen contentment and even the joy he felt at watching the small details of life would stand up and cause him to need to sit once again.
How do you tell the wife of your youth and the mother of your children that you would really like to have a son; George knew he could not and would not as it would get her to crying, so he had made up his mind to go to his grave with his sadness and to never tell a soul about his desire to have a son, not so much to carry on the family name which would now die with him but because he wanted to teach what he had learned about being a man to a son, how he should love the wife of his youth and lay down his life for hers no matter the cost. George wanted to teach a son how to take a stand for what is right and good, no matter how much ridicule you get and how many jobs you lose. More than that though George wanted to teach a son his love for the outdoors.
His wife and daughters did love the country life but only the youngest had taken real pleasure in sitting up all night shivering as they listened to the coyotes, the owls and the numerous scampering critters. She was the one who like him would pick up a snake to see what kind it was and to study it. All her young life she had caused her mom and sisters to roll her eyes as she traipsed after him to see where the trail led but now that was changing as she had learned from her sisters that some boys were cute and well in the last year he no longer had the time or the energy to traipse like he used to. The energy he knew would come back if and when he could cut back his hours but if he wanted to buy his wife a house and feed her when they were old he had to work not that he had ever planned on not working as the Good Book did say a man would till his fields six days a week all the days of his life in order to feed his family he had not counted on the days away from home or even the weeks sometimes.
For now though he was home and content to sit and watch the water come and go with the tide and let the sadness engulf him as he mourned the loss of a son he would never have.
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