Sleep is for cats

Sleep is for cats
The meaning
Of which
I know not
But yes
To be able
To curl up on the edge of the couch
Or on the top shelf
Under a bed
Somewhere
Where my thoughts
 Can not find me
Would be a grand thing
Crazy it might be
Another thing
Would be great
To play
With my food
Before I eat
Which
Would be done
First though
A nap
In the sun
In the window sill
Yes
I suppose
Sleep is for cats
And
I Know not
What it means

There Was A Time

There was a time
When rules that
Governed the day
Governed my mind

How long
It has been
When sleep
I did at night
Now it seems
Like a cat
A nap here
Or there
Is all that
Keeps me

There was a time
When by
Some unforeseen rule
I would see you
Not so
This day
Years pass and then
When a chance happens
Like sleep
It slips past
In the night

Driven
To perpetual
Deprivation
I can not fathom
When by chance
We once again sit
Across the table
On some eve

I ask myself
When I pause
Will your eyes
Still show the joy
I ponder will
Your anger flare
When you find
That like the last time
I have already eaten

An absurd thought
It might be
But then again
I wonder if I will
Walk past
Not realizing
That was you
As my memory
Sometimes fades
Like the sleep
I do not get
Into the night

There was a time
When sleep came
So naturally

The Mistake

There are moments in life that help clarify who a man is to become, for some it is an easy thing for others something more difficult which catapults him on the path which he will take.  Then there are those whose paths have nothing to do with their own choices; their lives are dictated by made by others even before they are born.  It is just such a man whose story I will endeavor to relate.

The year this came to fruition was, well it really does not matter,so lets just say it happened in a young country whose real history was clouded by mass produced propaganda to be taught in its state run schools.  What came of that was the belief that to some extent still lies just under the surface. This is the belief, that says what I believe is right has to be true.  The reality is far different but that is for another time, another place, another discussion.  It is in this year as history was unfolding at a pace more rapid than what most could believe of course technically this is not true but with the new way of disseminating information almost instantly along with the belief that we did kick the Good Lord out of the country we had an era of do what makes you feel good and do not worry about the consequences.  Well for one young couple that was not entirely true but even they were caught up in the movement between themselves.  With two infants already in their care they took measures to insure another would not come along as they practiced this do what makes you feel good and do not worry about the consequences.

One day she was late, it had to be a mistake as the doctor said that little pill would keep such things from happening.  Nine months later another child was born, he was the mistake.  I cannot be sure but as the young woman ad valued her figure and had hoped to become an actress or model I believe she had at times thought about making the decision to reverse the mistake.  For some reason she did not.

It would be after yet another child they would both decide being wed was a mistake and would part their separate ways with the encouragement of both of their families.  It would be only another year when the decision would be made that she could not raise four children on her own.  Some would call that the mistake but in hindsight it was the best decision for the children and in particular the Mistake.  This is one of those defining moments for the Mistake as having for the most part been ignored as he went from being an infant to a little boy he found freedom and learned that sometimes exercising said freedom came with a price and that their were rules to freedom particularly if you are small.  It was in the exercising of said freedom that he was noticed who made their own mistakes in thinking they could be his mom.

How many times he had to redo his spelling lessons, or sit in his room or worse the corner to contemplate why his choices in exercising his said freedom were not right he could not recall.  It was in his time stuck in his room listening to other children laugh and play that our growing mistake found he liked reading as he could learn knew things.  As the years went on this too became an issue as he would read his school books and listen to the teachers but then he exercised the freedom to verify that what he was being taught was completely true. Sad to say it was not, for his classmates this was always a good thing as when the mistake would question the validity, teachers would be distracted and forget to assign that night's assignments.  It became so bad that there were teachers who would search him out and ask him not to show up to school which was something he had already started doing on his own.  It was toward the end of the Mistake's government required education that he went from being a mistake and became a failure according to the powers that were.

With a smile on his face the Mistake ignored the thoughts, the looks and the discussions spoken behind his back as he really did not care what people thought.  This saved him.  It was by the time when most of his classmates were deciding what institute of higher learning they would invest their parent's money, the mistake had already been living as a man for a couple of years.  His self induced education showed, but in some ways also hindered.  He was overlooked as men who wore black dresses to show they were now learned were given accolades.  Smiling the Mistake found a freedom in this misplaced inequality.

Waves Lapping

Waves Lapping

Along the shore

Are the sounds 

That Echo 

In my ear

Taking me back 

To earlier years

They dance like the faces 

From my past

That for a moment 

Appear so vividly

Like the names 

On the tip

Of my tongue

They quickly fade

Back into the sea

And become

Apart 

Of only my memory.

Thanksgiving By The Beach

Last eve the sky was clear
As I lay my head to sleep
Late into the darkness
Awakened I was
Not by little excited feet
Wanting to see
The annual parade
Televised
For our viewing pleasure
No it was
The pitter patter
Rain falling above my head
The howling of wind
The thump of a branch
From a tree

I look out to see
The frothing gray waters
Blown into a dither
By the breeze
I walk through the house
No plans for a big dinner
And I sigh
Knowing your happy face
Will not be at the table
No football scores
Or children racing

Though
All is not lost
Thankful I am
For a roof
I have above me
My wife and best friend
To keep me laughing
And my fifteen years old
Daughter
To remind me
It is my fault
She is stuck on an island

So with that
My prayers are said
And this is my Amen
Time to go
Take shots of
The excited sea
As I enjoy
This thanksgiving
By the beach.

Really

So this past spring I received a call from a production company, who in my opinion is way over their head by taking on providing system techs for local Indian casinos who seem to be gungho about their concert series, I agreed to a discounted rate.  Well just recently I worked four concerts near Lake Chelan.  I was paid for the first two, without taking any overtime on the show day which tends to be close to an eighteen hour day.

Went to pick up my paycheck today and well their bean counter decided not to pay me because he did not like me charging half a day rate for driving into the shop to prep which more or less was pulling colored gel which they could have had anybody do.  I did not volunteer to go to the shop they asked me to come in.  Got to ask myself what he was thinking as they also wanted to pay me on their payroll and in this state not paying an employee for work done... well let us just say this socialist republic of Washington actually does a good job at dealing with cheap employers who think they can get away without paying those who make them money.  Stage professionals also have a way to deal with such employers.  Pass the word and all they will be able to get is not the cream of the crop, but what is left over at the bottom of the barrel and if they can talk someone into doing the work they may find they have to pay the higher rate or have such a high turnover that clients who live continuity go elsewhere and the work being done right the first time goes out the window.

Still I am asking myself really, of course in the future I will payroll myself and get paid up front so that I can pay myself on time.

Chapter 6 – The Story with No Name – Some Things Never Change

George sat holding his Queen Amy Jo who no longer was the young woman she had thought she was when they met; at the moment as his hands felt her skin and explored what was familiar in his mind he was taken back to that first moment of touch, over all the years even during their times of confrontation and with her health issues and now his touching her had not changed, the chemistry, electricity, flood of emotion, desire or whatever one called it was still there. At issue, he was not physically what he used to be and in reality even when they had first met there were physical ailments such as the chronic pain which most of the time he could ignore and work out as he went about his day. Knowing that if he gave in to those desires whenever he wanted to, not that she would let him because they reared at the most inopportune moments for months sometimes they would only go back and forth teasing, unless of course she wanted something then she got what she wanted. George was okay with that because she was happy afterwards, and for him that was more important than anything else. Today though there was nothing pressing and there was no one around and his hammock chair which he had agreed to let her buy partly with this in mind was sitting right in front of them.

Amy was awake as soon as her blouse was off, when she turned to tell George now was not the time as he stood them up; she could not, as she was addicted to a couple of things in life and one of those was the natural form of George and what that did to her insides. As he embraced her she did ask about his back which over the years had become more of an issue in their physical relationship. When she found herself in that hanging chair that obstacle in her mind was removed and as she looked past him to the water she embraced the moment fully which for her did not take long. In their relationship something that had also not changed was that aspect of their relationship, her needs were satiated long before his and usually several times over, this day was no exception. As usual he was physically drained and just stood there which she would have been happy for him to do accept they were having guests over for dinner. When he heard the door slam on a car and his youngest hollering for him she had to laugh as she watched him try to get dressed, As it was only Tiffany and her aunt with the twins and their girls Amy Jo borrowed the blanket and wrapping herself up sat back down in the swing and looked at the fireplace he had built at one end of the tent. One reason his friend liked them there was George was so helpful and had increased the value of the property by such details as the outdoor fireplace with the paver stone patio which fit perfectly under a twenty by twenty foot A-frame tent. George did not need to be hinted at twice and as Bobbie sue and Michelle led the charge into his hideaway which also served as their castle, doll house, base camp and get away from mom room, they did not miss her clothes strewn around and Michelle was the first to tell her she had not put her clothes in the dirty clothes basket.

Amy did not say a word as George picked them up and folded them neatly before putting them in the foot locker used as a coffee table and office storage. George, who had not seen either his adopted mom or Tiffany since that day after they drove them back with his real mom to the desert from San Diego, nodded his head in acknowledgement that they were there. As he walked out he told Amy he was going for a walk. His grandchildren loved walking with Grandpa and clamored to hold his hands. As all the young children left Sabrina asked her mom to spill the beans. Smiling Amy said she had no idea what they were talking about, Samantha let out a laugh. When Amy looked at her she apologized and said they come over for dinner at her request and find her clothes strewn all over the house which she had never allowed. Amy smiled and said technically they were not in the house they were in the play tent. His mom asked how his back was and the girls went red. Samantha made a face and told her mom she was not a young girl anymore. Tiffany got Amy laughing when she told the girls some things in life were like fine wine and got better with age. The twins rolled their eyes and walked out. Tiffany waited until they were out of earshot and asked Amy how it was.

Her aunt scolded her and said that was her son they were talking about and reminded Tiffany that was not why they were there. Amy smiled as she curled up into a ball in the chair allowing the warmth of the fire to envelope her. Mom asked if George was still planning on moving back to the desert. Amy nodded and was told it had changed. Amy replied so had she and George well in some ways. In others she admitted they were still the same. Tiffany still in her uptown suit went back to the car and coming back changed into something more comfortable, the fact that George had come up at the very moment she had been completely in her skin was something that did not faze her. George looked at Amy and with his eyes told her he was sorry. Smiling she told him it was okay. Grabbing his phone he said the girls were walking down the beach and he would get something out to cook. As he shuffled off both Tiffany and his her aunt commented he seemed different. Amy said he was different, he was older and tired all the time and well he was a lot more sensitive to her moods and her insecurities. Tiffany asked since when the Queen was insecure. Amy without pausing told her ever since her first husband told her he had been cheating on her.

His mom by choice who was known for her numerous relations over the years told Amy that was not George. Amy said she knew that, but what she knew and how she reacted when she watched women interact with her jungle boy were two different things. Tiffany looked at her and told her she should not worry as those younger women had nothing on her. Amy smiled and said it was not the younger women but slightly more mature women who now bothered her as they saw in George something they did not have, an honest hard working and wife loving man that had given her the adventures of a lifetime. Tiffany raised her hand and said she fit that group as sad as that was to say. Amy asked what was wrong with that love of her life. Tiffany said that love of her life was not even close to being what George was and though she loved Nicole the reality was she still liked men and had realized turning to a woman had been a last ditch effort to feel the love George and the men like him gave another woman. Tiffany looked down and said she had to face it she had spent all that money to get her ability to have children back and now she was running out of time and though Nicole could do things for her one thing she could not do was get her pregnant and give her that sense of oneness her friend the Queen Amy Jo had. Amy said there were days she would gladly give her George but sadly today was not one of those days. Sitting in the hammock chair next to Amy, Tiffany pouted.

George came in carrying a cooler on his shoulder just as the two women began tickling each other. Setting it down he walked back out telling Amy he was going for a walk. Tiffany sat up and said some things don’t change. Amy told her it was not what she thought, he went for a walk alone whenever he was home and she encouraged it as it got his need to explore out of his system and he took some amazing pictures with his phone. Using Tiffany to help her roll out of the chair she dragged her blanket half hanging down to his desk and then looking at the foot locker she pulled out the small projector and set it up. Mom told her that was convenient; Amy who had thrown off the blanket told her to wait as she set up the small entertainment system George had put in the tent for her and the girls. One of her grandchildren came running in and looked in the cooler for a drink, told her she was pretty for an old naked woman and then ran back out and yelled to her cousins and aunts that it was okay to go swimming even if they did not have swim suits. Amy had to get the blanket on real quick and looked to Tiffany who was laughing. Tiffany ran out and said having children state the obvious was so much fun. Tucked back into the chair after throwing on a couple more logs into the fire place she had just covered up in time when one of their nosy neighbors walked in and asked what was for dinner.

Amy smiled apologetically and said at the moment nothing but if that changed she would have George call him. The neighbor asked when George got home and she told him he had been home all week and he could probably catch him taking pictures up in the new growth forest. The neighbor who George had told her hung around only to see if he could catch a glimpse of her naked did not make to go. Mom apologized and said she did not catch his name, when he looked at her he looked like he went into shock and blurted out that she looked like the woman in that new sitcom. Smiling she told him she had not seen the show so could not be the judge but she was here to see her son and wanted to keep it to close family this time. When he nodded she dismissed him and said next time she would make sure he was invited. When he left mom told her that man had been hoping to see her naked and she should not encourage his poor manners. Amy said he was harmless, she was told that might be so but if she wanted to see George keep his promise to let him catch that man looking at his wife when she was without clothes on. Amy said George had mellowed, taking Amy’s hand his mom said yes about some things she could see that but when he saw her in the chair with Tiffany for an instant she had seen something and if Tiffany had been a man she would not be among the breathing. Amy asked if she was serious. When mom told her more serious than she had ever been at any other point in her more than sixty years of life, besides which she had experience with jealous husbands both hers and other women’s.

Amy said not in a long time, mom told her thanks to George she had changed. Amy said she never got that story. She did not get in then when as she heard George talking to their nosy neighbor and flat out told him he would appreciate it if he did trespass when he was not physically on the property. When their neighbor said he had not been trespassing George asked who invited him over for a family gathering or rather a family gathering that was not his family. The man sounded flustered and apologized to George who added an apology would not work if he ever caught him trying to catch a glimpse of his wife naked again. When the man tried to say he was not George told him today he had the benefit of the doubt and his friendship but tomorrow that might change so if he wanted to remain friends he could go home sit alone in his living room or get out of his house go into town and meet some pretty single woman at the singles prayer meeting at the Baptist church. When the man said well okay and left, George came in with a smile on his face and asked Amy if she wanted to see the latest pictures of the fawn. Amy smiled and told him she was just going to show mom his work. George shrugged as he sat down in the hammock chair. When Tiffany came back in she asked where she was supposed to sit. Amy told George she had to go and get showered and dressed so Tiffany could have her spot. George looked at her oddly and she told him it was okay, Tiffany did not bite. Tiffany chose not to sit with George and sat at his desk. As she looked out at the water she smiled and asked exactly how much work did he get done from his office? George said depends on her definition of work, but from that desk he had put together five plans and landed some very nice contracts.

Mom asked what kind of business, George told her they were essentially the same business as they were service businesses mainly providing technical support and consulting to the entertainment world. As she looked at him she told him he could have come to her. George smiled and said he knew that but wanted to do this on his own merits. Tiffany opened up his computer and was surprised she was on the internet so fast. When she looked at her phone and still did not have reception she asked George how he was hooked to the internet on a laptop on the beach. George pointed up and said the tent had become his antenna and inside the poles he had wired boosters for Amy’s personal cellular Wi-Fi access point and his wireless router. She asked why he was not selling tents with built in Wi-Fi. Smiling he said he was renting them instead but the new ones were bigger and were used as offices, lunch rooms and for parties. Pointing to her phone he told her the access point was up in the house but depending on her carrier she would not even get reception but he could fix that if she did not mind breaking the law. Smiling she looked at her aunt who shook her head. As she looked at his websites which did not tell her much she told him most companies put everything they had ever done on their websites. George nodded and said that also took time and money for very little return unless you were actually selling something and by not actually having anything more than his phone numbers meant that people had to call him to find what services he was providing and the price. That also let him find out what the customer needed. She asked how many people had called today and he smiled and said as of yet he had not checked as he had been thinking about something and then his queen came in. Tiffany smiled and said that must have really got him thinking. Shaking his head he told her she had no idea. Sabrina who walked in told her dad actually they all had an idea as the only time mom leaves her clothes laying around was when she was the one not taking them off.

Climbing in next to her dad she asked when he was planning on visiting as the children really missed him. He told her today they did not seem like they had missed him. Smiling she said no today they had cousins, aunts, creeks, tide pools, dogs and all kinds of wild flowers to keep them occupied but at home in their own backyard where they had each other, dogs, her rose garden, cats, that playground he helped Jeff build they were bored out of their minds unless Grandpa was there to go exploring their own backyard with. Mom asked what gave him the idea to build a vertical playground. George said the tree house she got mad at him building in her palm trees, which he thought still had the best view of the pacific. Smiling she not to mention that house where they liked to film a certain genre of movies. George smiled and said he had not really noticed, Tiffany said she did not know about that as she had learned a few things from him. Sabrina called time out and asked if she was hearing correctly her dad used to sleep with her Aunt Tiffany. At that moment Amy walked back in and said actually her dad had intended on marrying Tiffany when he was sixteen. Samantha who came in next to heard the latest part of the conversation and asked what exactly she had missed. Sabrina told her dad the great and mysterious Wizard who was ever so doting and faithful to mom had once had a wild streak and was doing the horizontal tango with their Aunt Tiffany who was like his and moms best friend, well mom’s best friend anyway as dad did not stay in touch with anyone once he moved on.

As Amy moved George out of her seat and forced Samantha out as well she was rejoined by Tiffany who kept her hands up telling George she was not moving in on his turf. Samantha called time out and told Tiffany she was gay, Tiffany said no she was not gay she was just in a lesbian relationship as the men who had been available were not worth the time of day. Her aunt asked how many she had dated, Tiffany said during college she dated three and they were nowhere near what she was used to so she gave up and then afterwards she had gotten serious with one man who she really liked but the sex had been so unfulfilling she broke off the engagement. Amy asked when that was; Tiffany answered the night she and Nicole had come to the desert was about two days after she broke off her engagement and it was when she realized George was out of bounds that she and Nicole who had the same problem had hooked up. She was honest when she told Amy that she and Nicole spent many nights holding each other crying as they mourned what they had passed up. George who was watching the children out the window play tag as he began cooking grunted, when Tiffany asked what that was for he said he never knew he had anything with Nicole. Amy laughed saying that woman had been in love with him since the first day she met his friends. George finally asked if they were there to talk about what was not going to happen. Tiffany said no they were just visiting and her nieces asked some rather insightful questions into what makes a man tick. Amy said or two woman who loved the same man to spend their nights giving orgasms to each other because he would not. George almost choked and looking at Amy she said it was the truth and yes she had had a couple of glasses of wine, one before her shower, one during and two while getting dressed.

George shook his head, Amy told him that was it for the night, but she had needed something after realizing her being nice to that poor man put her in danger. George said not in danger, as that poor man did not have it in him to do anything but look which is why he still lived with his mom and sat around in his underwear looking at pictures of other men’s wives. Amy asked how he knew that, George said since the man had been stealing air time off her Internet access he had wanted to know what he was up to and then blocked him from making use of her webcam to watch her when she was talking to her friends. Amy said she did not know and George said he knew that but since what the man did was not illegal it was not like he could press charges. Mom told Amy she was wrong her boy had mellowed. George said call it showing mercy and grace and purposeful intervention. Tiffany who had started her drinking earlier in Portland laughed and told George she had never heard of purposeful intervention in all her years of counseling. Glancing back at her he smiled and said yes she had she just did not know what to call it back then. As she pondered that, she pointed to the children who had been joined by brothers and dads. As the two other men came in the conversation changed as George asked how their days had gone. Both men looked at his daughters before smiling and saying fine. Jeff said that was only if you called finally fixing that leaky pipe a great day his day had been more than great as he also fixed the bedroom door and hung the blinds and tried to hang the wallpaper. His wife laughed and asked how that went. Joshua told her not well at all so she might want to think about asking dad to help her paint.

Jeff said the stuff was not wall paper but was intended to catch little boys and dogs and then dads who tried to release said boys and dogs from the evil grasp of the human eating paper. As all the women laughed at the two men’s rendition of their day trying to make headway on that old house some beautiful woman had talked Jeff into buying as it had character and it was in a neighborhood which had history, George smiled and started chuckling. Amy called time out and asked George if she had heard him laughing.

George said he laughed, Amy said he might laugh but rarely at home anymore or among adults. George smiled and said most adults don’t say anything worth laughing at and at home he ended up thinking about other things. When Jeff asked if he had missed something Sabrina told him when they got here dad was pretending that he had not just started the fire and mom’s clothes were strewn. Jeff gulped and repeated strewn. Samantha said it was worse than that they were strewn outside. Joshua backed out of the tent and said he was going to check on the children. Jeff who was trying to not say the wrong thing nodded and said he was glad to see dad had been around to pick up before the children showed up. George apologized and said he had to keep a couple of girls from going skinny dipping, not that he could recall which ones as together they all kind of blended into this mass of smiling faces. As George was moved out of the way by his twin daughters, he went out and sat at his boardroom table which to everyone else looked like a row of picnic tables. Jeff sat across from him and asked what he was working on now. George said today not much but tomorrow he was going to be planning a network for a national production company. Jeff asked if he was doing that from home. When George said he could do it from anywhere he asked for help.

That got a certain member of the female majority of the family to ask if her husband just asked for help. Jeff smiled at the tent and said that yes he was asking for help. George told him he would be up in the afternoon if that was okay. George watched as a boy came over and climbing into his lap yelled in his ear that grandpa was coming over tomorrow. George told the young lad that yes he was and since he was the one coming over whom he mistakenly called Grandpa he did not need to tell him. As usual Jeff Jr. gave him an odd look and then apologized before yelling again that he was wrong Queen Amy’s royal courtier was coming over and they had better be prepared with many tasty treats and a list. Amy waited until during dinner to ask George since when he was a royal courtier. George shrugged saying he could not remember but it beat King George. Mom laughed to herself and asked where George came up with the idea of calling his lovely wife queen. Looking at Amy he said the first time he saw her she was walking with her minions and giving him directions and she reminded him of that movie where she was a queen. Mom told George that was not her most favorite character, George said at the time Amy was not exactly his most favorite woman. Amy told George how could that be as she had fallen for him the moment she saw him.

George smiled and said all he saw was this grandiose lady who gave orders to the not so well endowed, educated or moneyed. Amy said she would not have classified herself as moneyed. George said compared to what the average person at that resort and probably the valley made in say five years which she had made in one she was moneyed and even if she had not been, she carried herself as if she was used to having her way which at home he was happy to oblige when he could. Amy was feeling the wine and was feeling fine enough to take a stand and tell George to take that back. Smiling he told her as his queen wished which got everyone laughing. Amy glared at George who reached over the table and held her hand and smiled. One of the younger sisters asked them when they knew they were in love. George smiled and said that the third time he had seen their mom he had heard good things about her and how she was actually very helpful and then when he saw her legs well he was taken, when he found the rest of her came with the package he could not pass it up. When Jeff Jr. looked under the table George picked him up by his britches and told the boy he never looked under a table at a woman’s legs and definitely not his wife’s legs. Jeff Jr. said he was not meaning to be bad, George smiled and said it was not bad just not very polite. Standing up Amy smiled and climbed on the table and showed off her legs, when Jeff Jr. told George the queen was showing off her legs; George told him that was fine and dandy take a look but since he was not married to the queen he should not stare. Jeff looked up at Amy and calling her Grandma Queen Amy ma’am told her she had pretty legs. Climbing down she sat next to George where Jeff Jr. had been sitting and told George he could let go of her grandson. George raised an eyebrow and asked Jeff Jr. if he was ready. The boy smiled and George dropped him into his Grandma’s lap. Soon all of her grandchildren were surrounding her and feeling her legs causing her to laugh as they found the ticklish spots behind her knees.

When she finally tagged George he started grabbing up kids and tickling them which turned into a wrestling match as Michelle helped tackle him. As they calmed down and the tent was set up for a movie the adults moved out on the beach where Amy found George pouring her another glass of her favorite wine. Tiffany asked why he wanted to move again. George said his friend was generous for letting them stay but at some point he was planning on moving in and by then he wanted Grandma to have her own house for her horses and grandchildren where it was warm enough for her. Amy grabbed his hand when Jeff said it was warm enough now. His wife asked how many times since moving north had he seen her sunbathing. Jeff gulped and said not many. She high fived her sister and said yep that was because it was too cold. Jeff asked why they bought that old house anyway, smiling a girl after her mom’s own heart told him because he loved her and wanted to prove it and when they were done with it and the landscaping they could sell it for a whole lot more than they could any of those cookie cutter homes, besides it had the best trees to provide the base for the most awesome playground in the world for any kids if someone would let them play up there without asking permission. Jeff told her it was dangerous and they could fall. Grabbing his hand she told him if they did they bounced real well and if they lost one or two she still had more where they came from and they could make more which by the way she was thinking it was getting close to the time for her to have another one. When Jeff asked when she looked at her watch grabbed his hand and asked dad if she could borrow the loft for about an hour while he watched her children.

When he nodded, Jeff was dragged back to the house by the girl; Amy told George he should not encourage that girl. George laughed and said he did not encourage anyone she just asked to borrow the loft and for him to watch her children. Joshua who had not been a par to of the family that long asked if it was always like this at family dinners; his wife said not always she remembered when it was worse with mom and dad practically making babies at dinner. Tiffany spewed her wine out causing her aunt to laugh and asked George if that was true. George as solemnly as he could, told her he had never made a single baby at the dinner table. His daughter asked if she said at because she meant on. The look on George’s face wiped any doubt and when he said they could not prove that last one was actually conceived on the table, Amy lost it spewing her wine. When their youngest daughter came out and asked what was wrong George said they were just trying to figure out where she came from. All the adults lost it, and when the proud and very opinionated girl said she was made almost eleven years hence on the dining room table of the General’s house, George told her no, that was just the warm-up. With children calling to tell them to be quiet the grownups kept laughing as George and his youngest daughter tried to decide where she was made, he admitted it was on a dinner table and she conceded she just knew they had stayed with the General for a short time about the time she was born. George said actually the general stayed with them as he was in the hospital with her and her mom for almost six months.

The girl climbed onto her daddies lap and asked why she was in the hospital and George explained that because she came to them later in her mom’s childbearing years she was complicated. The girl threw her hands up and said she was not complicated and George asked who was telling this story. Settling down he told her by then the twins were away at college and Amber was focused on finishing school so they needed someone to stay with Michelle so he called the General. Tiffany asked whose house was it, George said at the time it was theirs and he had bought it with credit cards. His mom shook her head. George told her he knew but he needed a place close to the hospital and the fastest way to close the deal was with cash which he did not want to deplete their savings so he found paying himself the balance of several new cards allowed him the cash needed to close in less than a week. Joshua asked if that was legal. George said perfectly but not being able to work had put a damper in his finances but by short selling the house he was able to bring the card balances down to a more reasonable level. Tiffany asked if that was the General’s house now. George nodded saying the General was retiring and liked the area so he sold his place in Georgia and with the proceeds paid him for the house. Amy told George she was grateful he had stayed with her and there sweet little thing. As the youngest of six daughters got up to leave she hugged her dad.

Amy told her to start helping the little ones to get ready for bed and make sure they stay out of the loft. When she asked why George told her sister and brother in law were sleeping there. With that she was gone but not without covering her mouth and the smirk. Joshua shook his head. His wife told him it was okay she grew up in the house and she turned out all right. When he did not say anything George told him it was okay to agree with your wife. Joshua cleared his throat and said she was right she did turn out all right. When she asked if she was only all right George got up and helped Amy up then his mom and Tiffany. Back in his beach side office his mom said she liked this office. As she looked at George in the firelight she could tell he was tired. She asked if he was okay, George said more or less he was holding his own. Tiffany said he was only forty some odd years old. George looked at her and smiled and said unlike others his age he had been working most of those forty two years old and not at jobs that were known for being a soft man’s game and it had taken a toll on his body.

As he stoked the fire, he asked mom what movie deal she was working on. She told him at the moment she was on vacation with her niece and thought she would stop in and see her son who had not talked to her in years. George stayed down on his haunches for a moment before standing up and stretching and apologized for that. Tiffany asked if he was wondering why she was there. George said no he knew she travelled and visited the girls even Jennifer who did not talk to him much. Tiffany asked how he knew; smiling he said children do not keep secrets. Laughing she said that might be so but she had come up to not actually see the girls but her two best friends in the world. George said he would not consider himself a best friend after the last who knows how many years. Tiffany said he was right so she would borrow her friend Amy for a while and let her decide if she wanted to tell him about what they talked about. George apologized for not calling more, Tiffany said like never. Looking at Amy he could tell she was getting sleepy so he picked her up and started carrying her back toward the house but saw someone in the forest. George told Amy that their friend was back and if he did look at her through a window they could have him arrested. Amy was still buzzed enough to want to be her old exhibitionist self and George had just given her permission so as he let her down she walked back into the tent and opening all the windows she turned on some music and began dancing slowly as she stripped down. When their nosy neighbor got close enough she could see him she screamed at the same moment his flash went off.

The poor man never saw what hit him from behind. When he came to the only female sheriff deputy was standing over him and smiling. George had told her he wanted to wait until he came to before pressing charges. The deputy told George their peeping tom was awake. George told their neighbor he apologized for hitting him so hard but he had no idea who was trespassing and trying to sneak in to his office to see his wife as she rehearsed her dancing. Their neighbor told George he was not sneaking in he just wanted to get pictures of her naked and realized at that moment he just admitted he was guilty of stalking another man’s wife and when he was handcuffed and put into the police car there were more deputies on the scene getting ready to go through his house while George worked to find whose internet he was hacking now. When he found the wire running through the forest straight to the utility pole he called a friend at the phone company and told him he might want to know a neighbor was illegally spliced into the phone lines and stealing bandwidth. George told the poor depraved man it was a sad thing to do to his mother on what could have been the rest of his life with his future wife. The lone female deputy it would be okay someone would find him attractive where he was going. As the law enforcement cars left they left with more than just a couple of photos as the man had been taking pictures of not just Amy but their daughters as well along with numerous other women and girls. Amy told George she was sorry; smiling half-heartedly he told her it was not her fault she was the hottest woman alive and threw some of the most beautiful girls. Amy said she was serious; George told her he knew but it was not her fault. She asked what he was going to do. George told her after a moment that he was going to buy the man’s moms house.

Amy told George they did not have the money or the credit; he agreed and said he did not but pointing to his mom and Tiffany who were just in ear shot he asked if they wanted to go in on a beach house in the northwest. Tiffany said she was game if she could take care of his children. George said she had been helping do that most of his married life. Amy looked at Tiffany and told George Tiffany did not mean the children living in his house but the unborn one. George asked Amy what she was talking about. Amy said if she was reading this situation right Tiffany wanted him to be the father of her unborn child. George said he would help her as much as he could. Amy grabbed his face in her hands and said no she wanted him to be the father of her baby. It took him a moment to realize what she meant and then looking up at his mom she was as surprised as he was. She told George she knew nothing about this. George told the women they had a little too much to drink and they could talk later. When everyone was bedded down George found himself alone in the office watching the fire when Amy came in and curled up in the hammock. George looked up at Amy who smiled sweetly.

He asked how long she had known Tiffany was coming here. Amy smiled and George raised an eyebrow, she nodded and looked down at the hammock. As he sat next to her he told her there was one problem Tiffany should know he could not have children. Amy asked if he was totally against it.

The What If's

There are those times

It really

Can not be helped

When a man

Asks himself

What if

Though 

It is best avoided

In a moment

When least expected

His mind weary

From lack of sleep

Too much sleep

Over stimulation

Too much stimulation

It just happens

A thought

Enters the mind

Sometimes

Triggered

By seeing someone

Hearing a song

From years past

And then the 

What If's

Begin

Tis'

A natural thing

Particularly

As

Realization

Sets in

That immortality

Is not mine

For most 

It is 

A mere mental

Exercise

And nothing changes

In their daily life

Others burdened 

With desire

To achieve

Something not yet gained

Begin to focus

And here in

Lies the danger

Like Don Quixote

Charging off

To fight

One more windmill

A man

Can find 

He is living

In two worlds

One with bridges

To take you over

The water

And others

That lead 

Into worlds

Meant for children

Who am I to judge

Between 

What one is better

It is 

One fact

When you 

Were a child 

You saw both

Through innocent eyes

That pollute the 

World 

Of What If's

When as a man

You enter a realm

Meant for innocence

Chapter 5 – The Story with No Name – Moving On

Before we go too far into our story, I should not gloss over George’s friend and in his mind at one time the love of his life.  In his early years George would just up and go without ever intending to move on.  His purpose for his wanderings as a boy and a young man was to help the family he lived with financially.  When he moved in with Tiffany’s aunt, a well-known actress of her day and a good friend of one of his maternal aunts whom he had never met, he was thirteen.  George had set about to helping which to the house staff was unheard of.  Tiffany’s aunt being a lady from the south tried to curb him of that behavior and in the end they changed each other, he changing her more than her changing him.  One thing that did change was George had learned to let down his wall and love first with his new mom and then came the day Tiffany came to visit.  George kept his distance as they were paired together on his and his temporary mom’s travels but over time she had knocked down that wall just by her close proximity.  Because he had been allowed more freedom in this house which included being allowed to go find work as he had always done and even being introduced to the world of entertainment first through the parties and then by tagging along to the set where he just started pitching in opened George to financial freedoms he had up to that point not known.

Tiffany like every other ordinary girl liked two things, shopping and boys.  George was readily available for both and a fine specimen of the latter.  When it came to teenage changes and her need to experiment she knew she had lead George on and he fell madly in love with her.  It was his pent on learning something to perfection which had hooked her and kept bringing her back for more and then got her pregnant.  For Tiffany that would not do and after telling George she was pregnant she borrowed the money from him to deal with it in private.  She then moved on and in so doing had taught George a valuable lesson.  Never let love blind you and until you are ready to have your heart ripped out of you do not open yourself to that kind of love, which had also sent him back behind his wall and caused him to leave the one woman who had closest came to being a mother.  By then he was sixteen, had his own truck and a willingness to explore, which to others would be considered a need.  George on the other hand had been a bit more pragmatic about needs; he needed food, air and water to live and if he had shelter and clothes that was fine too.   From that day he left that palatial home on the cliffs above the sea, George had always done what he wanted, when he wanted and on his own terms, and what he wanted more than anything was to keep moving and learning something new.

The fact that moving took something more than the clothes on your back if you were to do it without stealing out of other folks mouths, something he would never do, caused him to move toward the jobs which were temporary and highly paid.  By the age of twenty he had worked on an oil rig, on a crab boat out of New England, on several movie sets some of which if they had known his age or rather if the authorities knew his age would have brought the law down hard on the producers, for George it was a paycheck and a learning experience but because he tried to be helpful he had made friends and even helped several young ladies who wanted out of bad situations, to get out and to get reestablished elsewhere and in some cases had even played matchmaker he made friends.  With Tiffany who in college had gotten into a bad scene it was more or less the same as far as helping her move on which is why at the point where the Queen entered his life she had been there in his apartment.  Now that a few years had passed, she and the Queen had become friends of sorts; one reason was because Tiffany was an expert on George as she had studied him for her Thesis. 

It was shortly after the day that George took his family on that outing that the Queen surprised him and more than that herself when she told him she wanted to move on from the desert.  George had to take some time to wrap his mind around that as from everything he had gleaned over the years, women wanted stability.  George at the moment she said that had been thinking of making some minor changes to allow him more time at home and the next day put into motion the first of those changes more or less by accident.  Meeting a fellow at the gas station early one morning, a gentleman he had seen many nights he struck up a conversation about his line of work and the next night George was in business for himself wholesaling newspapers.  Jenny who wanted a car jumped at the opportunity to help him if it meant she got a car.  She had been thinking sports car but pickup worked just as well and on weekends went well with her bikini top.  Amy Jo who had never owned her own company told George it was a bad idea.  With a smile he persuaded her to give it a try and soon she too was helping.  When her friends found out she was a newspaper delivery girl some of them gave her sass until they found out how much their little company was making within the first month as George just kept taking on, one more contract.  Their debts were being taken down even lower and the attitude in the house changed as everyone got involved in the rolling of quarters by the thousands every Monday which also served as math class.  Unlike the previous independent contractors who had treated their opportunity as a job, George and Amy as one treated it as an opportunity.

She began thinking what else they could do, and she told George one day while at their weekly business breakfast she wanted to model again.  George who had become aware that his Queen had once modeled began researching and came across her photo spread and with a little more digging some of the test videos.  She had found him looking at the websites and had gotten mad and told him he was cheating.  It took him the better part of two days before he could tell her the photos he had been looking at were hers and the whole idea of having other men fawn over his Queen did not sit well with him.  George had been so quiet about the matter in his delivery she had to ask exactly what he would do and he said he was willing to go to jail for her and their daughters.  With that he had gotten up and went out of the house.  He barely said a word to her for two days, as a matter of fact he did not speak to anyone accept his own daughter who was now way beyond walking and was imitating his every move.  The first moment Amy had the opportunity she grabbed the entire family including George who she thought would protest and drove them down to her first neighborhood after she first married and walked them all down to the beach.  It did not get by him that it was a clothing optional beach and when she stripped down to the skin she was born with she went about doing what she always did at the beach and asked him to put sun tanning oil on her back.  The youngest of five girls seeing mommy taking off her clothes like in the garden followed suit and then the four girls looked at George who shrugged.

George had been stopped in his tracks by Amy Jo’s way of making him either live up to his threat or get over himself.  It was not so much they were without their clothes but what he knew other men were thinking.  As they sat there on the beach Amy Jo and the girls who were used to sunbathing this way at home ignored what few men looked their way and George noticed that for the most part no one was looking their way.  Giving up he apologized to her and decided he would go swimming.  Stripping down to his shorts he went out into the water and started swimming.  In the water with the steady movement of his swimming he let things go and concentrated on the rhythm set by the constant motion of his muscles and his breathing.  When he finally made it back to shore the sun had set and there was no one on the beach except for a couple of lifeguards.  It was then that he noticed the helicopter and the lifeguard boat.  He immediately realized his wife would be mad.  Being handed a blanket which he wrapped up in he was helped to sit down as more lifeguards and showed up.  He was driven to the small headquarters where paramedics were standing by.  Immediately he got worried and asked if one of his children got hurt.  Amy, having pushed her way through the growing crowd of law enforcement and first aid personnel, was all over him asking if he was okay.  After calming her down he looked at her and then the crowd and asked what was wrong.  A well-tanned life guard with close cropped hair asked if he knew how long he had been swimming for.  George shrugged and said since he needed to clear his head before talking to his wife about her idea of getting back into modeling. 

When the paramedics gave the thumbs up after checking him over; George figured it was over and set about looking for his jeans and then his girls.  The cameras which caught him and Amy brought him to reality and drove him back inside where he was handed a change of clothes in the way of a lifeguard uniform.  George ignored the cameras which had come inside as he changed in front of everyone.  When a young woman asked Amy if her son was single George jumped in before Amy did and apologized to the young woman but he was spoken for and let her see his tattoo and told her she should be honored to be in the presence of a Queen as he took Amy’s hand and got down on one knee.  When everyone else did the camera’s caught it.  Amy had to wave her hand and say she was not a real queen, which got the questions flying.  She looked at George who smiled and looked at the lead lifeguard who gave him his card and mouthed for him to call him.  After being driven to a hotel by the police where they barricaded themselves in a suite, where to George’s surprise his mother in law and a woman he had once known were waiting.  Amy smiled and said she had another surprise; when George looked around she told George she had found his mother; he asked which one.  Apparently that was the wrong answer as Amy glared at him and motioned to the woman.  George looked at her, blinked and apologized to her.  He told her that he was okay if she wanted to call him son like many others but he did not have a mother.  Apparently that was definitely the wrong thing to say as Amy stepped in and told the women who was now crying she had to forgive her son but more or less raising himself he did not have very good manners.

George shrugged and looked at his mother in law and asked if she wanted to add to this dump on George moment.  George was surprised when she gave him a hug.  When nothing more was said George asked if he could see his children.  Amy said that they were with Tiffany and her mom.  George asked why and Amy told him when they saw the news that he had been swept out to sea they came down and grabbed the children.  George laughed and asked why anyone thought he was swept out to sea.  Amy’s mom told George it must have been a misunderstanding as those on shore had looked up and could no longer see him.  George looked at Amy who he could tell was starting to get mad and sat down before he said something else.  Collecting his thoughts he looked up and apologized to the woman he vaguely remembered for not remembering her and then to Amy for scaring her but if she did not mind he was thirsty and hungry, and would really like to see his children and go home as he had learned his lesson and she could model, even though he might not like it.  Amy had to sit and ask if that was what this was all about.  George said if she meant that whole seen they had just left and a strange woman showing up saying she was his mom, no but his taking a swim to clear his head to tell her that, yes.  The woman spoke up and asked if he really did not know her.  George shook his head and apologized saying there had been so many moms growing up he was bound to forget a few.  Amy smacked his knee and he looked at her, she told him to be nice.  George said he was being honest and he did not know this woman and unless he had proof otherwise he was not going to start calling her mom but if she wanted to adopt her as a part of the family that was her prerogative.

Amy shook her head and asked what did he need, George said proof like maybe a DNA test which in his mind was a waste of time as though he might refer to her as his mom in his heart and mind it would be only a word as a mom does not abandon her children to be raised by others.  With that he stood up and left the room, Amy hot on his heels.  She was mad not so much at him but herself for thinking after they located George just swimming along headed back to shore that he might want to meet the woman Tiffany introduced as his mom.  When she asked where he was going he told her to his mom’s house to see his children and after that he did not know.  Amy grabbed his hand and said he was walking the wrong way.  George said his mom lived north of Los Angeles and they were by San Diego so he had to go north.  Amy had to laugh at his logic and when she could she asked if he was going to walk there to see his children. George said no he was walking to where they left the car.  Amy stopped him and pointed to the hotel and then told him his mom’s new house was not anywhere near LA and she was sorry for thinking he might want to meet his mom.  George shrugged and said it was okay he was just tired, thirsty and hungry.  When she got him to his “mom’s house he watched as George hugged the actress who was once again on the top of the A list, not that George would know or care.

She asked how his meeting his birth mother went, George shrugged and realizing that what he was told was true confessed not very well; Amy said that was an understatement.  George finally asked where his children were and was told Tiffany drove them home as they had animals to take care of.  George half smiled and shook his head; her aunt told George he might as well know that she could not have her own children because of her little stunt so she was adopting his.  George drank two sports drinks and then ate several pieces of fruit before speaking again and said he was sorry about that.  Amy told him it was not his fault.  George looked at her and she nodded, shrugging he told her was their nothing she did not know about him.  Amy smiled and told him there was plenty but figured she had a life time to find out his many secrets.  George looked down at the floor for a moment and asked if that was really the woman who gave birth to him.  When he was told yes he said he owed her an apology.  When he was asked if he wanted to know why she did not raise him; he said it would not change that she did not so it might be better if his mom kept that between her and her maker.  Several minutes later Amy’s mom came by with George’s birth mom and he apologized to her but made it very clear that there would never be any relationship between them but if she wanted to pursue one with her grandchildren he would not get in her way.

Tiffany’s aunt got in his way and told him he could do better, George agreed and said he probably could but why bring out the thousands of questions he had growing up of why his parents did not want him.  Amy saw the wall come up as did this woman who had helped raise him.  She asked George if that was it.  George said no he was going to see his children and if his mom wanted to tag along she could, and hopefully someone would drive as he was tired.  His adopted mom asked if he really did not want to know, George said he really did not want to know but if his mom wanted to tell someone he was sure his wife would listen and one day when he was not ready would smack him upside the head with it instead of giving him some warning.  That stopped the conversation and caused George to be found in a hug by the woman he had called mom in some rather very important development years.  He could feel her tears and held her for some time before telling her if it meant that much to her he would listen all the way to his home whatever it was she wanted him to listen to.  The drive back to the desert in the limo found George sleeping on the floor why Amy listened to his mom tell her story which was more or less one that could have been hers if she had stayed with her first husband.  Looking down she doubted she would tell George as it would also mean telling him parts of her life she was not ready to relive.  She realized that George in many ways was right to move on just as she had done without looking back and asking the what-ifs.  In the end they did not matter as they never happened.  When they arrived home the whole entire block was there along with more cameras and the girls had set up an award ceremony for George giving him a medal for being the best swimmer in the family, being the hottest dad they knew of and for loving their mom.  Amy watched as George cried.

The next night it was back to work for George who could not help but notice the pictures on the front page.  Seeing his wife and family eat up the attention he could not help but smile but there was nothing more that he would like to do but just move on.  He had gone for a swim, something he had done many times end of story.  When she made the arrangements for all of them to go and get their portfolio taken he did not complain.  George though began making plans and after several shoots he told her he was done as he would not be the puppy in the window.  When she asked what he wanted to do he told her he was moving to Colorado.  When she asked what he was going to do there he told her he already had the equipment to outfit his truck for welding on the pipelines and he also had all of his farrier gear and could easily start a business training horses.  When she asked about her and the girls he told her he hoped she would come along and he would be glad to hire her to model for his company.   When she asked what about the wholesaling company he told her he could have a buyer within the week.  Amy told George she would make him a deal.  She would move to Colorado if he did on photo shoot with her.  George smiled and said he agreed.  He did not realize he would be the camera man for part of the three day shoot.  It was not George’s first time behind the lens and it showed.  Before they could make the final arrangements to move or any further arrangements they received some visitors in the way of the San Diego Naval Training Command who wanted to offer George a job, as an instructor which also meant he would have to undergo naval boot camp and enlisting but in the reserves as a non comm.  Instead of Colorado they went to San Diego.  George also took a job with the county life guard service that worked out better than the Navy as even though George flew through basic and did well in the physical aspects of his advanced training, sitting in classrooms as a student was not his thing but having made it with some help in the way of an old black colonel who also ignored rules and weaseled his way as an instructor during George’s training.

In the end he never got his non comm and instead worked as an independent contractor for a short time, but that finally did not pan out either as George just did not dance to someone else’s beck and call.  The lifeguarding thing actually lasted a full two years and opened up opportunities for travel to compete which brought them back down to Australia as a family except for Jen who stayed in San Diego as she was going to school and had also started her career as a model and a lifeguard.  Little Michelle was five when they went to San Diego.  That was also the year Amy found herself carrying their sixth thanks to George’s improved temperament in Australia, a moonlit sky aboard a friend’s boat, a bottle of wine and a camera for their own private photo shoot.  When they got home Amy wanted a change and they finally moved to Colorado where he took over the dude part of the ranch he had spent some time on as a child.  While they were there it seemed all they had were one woman’s group after another.  Amy got tired of watching women salivate over George who more or less ignored the childish behavior and talked to those grown women like he would a group of recruits going through boot camp.  Amazingly instead of turning the women off it had quite the opposite effect and turned them on.  When Amy went into model for a writer who needed a pregnant woman on her cover she saw George and they started a new line of work modeling for the cover of romance novels.  No one knew who they were which George liked.  That came to an end when at about four months she had issues with her pregnancy and had to be hospitalized for the remainder of her pregnancy.  George never left her side.  When girl six was born he had been holding his breath as it was touch and go.

Amy Jo came out of the ordeal changed.  She had worried about the finances which as she figured with two more children in college were wiped out as neither of them had been working and the hospital bill George paid with credit cards as well as the house he had bought north of Denver to be near the hospital thinking he would have to leave every night.  As they talked George surprised her with one last purchase as he had studied anatomy while she was in the hospital and realizing her having another child would not be good he opted for a surgery of his own. He would not be having any more children at least not without yet another surgery.  Amy could not be mad and told George that was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for her.   The fact she was told she should go back to lower elevation caused George to short sale the house and take a loss which did help lower the debt but facing a huge pile of bills and the need to save money they went east to South Carolina and Amy with a newborn put behind her modeling days.  How George alone managed to buy a thousand acre hay farm, keep it going, while working on movies and working on the oil rigs she did not know but with the pile of debt from three girls going to college, her many months in the hospital, and of course the several vehicles he gave back while she was in the hospital meant he had no real choice.  Then he started another business a local transportation business geared at the entertainment production world.  Without his having the time she opted for him to sell the hay farm which had an old orchard he had brought back to life and then they moved to Florida which did not last long for either of them but did see number four into college and then it was off to Texas, Nevada and finally Washington.

Their motto as a couple was to move on forever to see what was over the next horizon.  As Amy lay in George’s arms thinking back to how nuts they had been to raise four girls and almost two more always moving on she had to wonder what friends and family thought about their behavior, until she also realized there were hundreds of more friends they would have never met and she would not have found her passion in the horses she now raised albeit on someone’s borrowed land.  Listening to his heart she knew what he was planning and was looking forward to once again moving on.

Chapter 4 – The Story with No Name - Changes

George who had been sitting at his camp desk moved onto the love seat with his Queen Amy Jo.  He could tell she was having a hot flash something that he used to struggle with as during those moments she wanted what many times he had not the energy to give.  Over the years he had adjusted and let her dictate to him his actions based on what she needed.  As he held her she had led him or rather his hand to massage her and in the end the change from hyperactivity to a mellow relaxation came over her.  George thought about this for some time leading him to just consider the idea of change and how early on she had once told him she would not change for any man.  As he looked down at her as she dozed he remembered back to that moment when he realized he was going to be a dad.

George had driven back to his apartment and saved Samson from the primping and pampering he was receiving from several of the young ladies who lived nearby and who, because of his proximity to the back pool which was by unspoken rule set aside as a quiet place for sunbathing and relaxing, were his constant house guests treating his ground level living room as a changing room.  George who had lived with so many different families, some of whom were large and rather free when it came to what some would consider privacy, ignored the women as they made themselves at home and used his shower and at times his apartment for naps, their unspoken clubhouse, reading room and also made use of the fact he was a trained in massage therapy.  When he walked in, two of his closer friends had arrived from the coast and had taken over his bedroom and loft.  Needing some alone time he quickly showered and went about getting dressed but there was no hiding the tattoo. Tiffany who at one time he had hoped to marry was the first to make a comment.  George had ignored her as he headed out to find a quiet place.  A nap did not come as he ended up in the fitness center. Going through his routine of strength training followed by a sauna and then several laps in the pool, he found himself thinking.  He liked Amy Jo and having had sex with her as he had once had with Tiffany he made the decision he was going to love her unconditionally.  With Tiffany it had been hard particularly when she had aborted their child without asking him.  For George it was that simple, love was action and a decision made was a promise kept.  There was no doubt in his mind that Queen Amy Jo was carrying his child and if he was wrong he knew she soon would be.

 As he walked back to his apartment he was stopped by the sound of the three girls who would now be part of his family.  Looking over the brick wall to the pool outside of his apartment they were there in the pool, splashing around wearing bikinis.  Seeing a couple of the young men who lived in the complex entering the pool area he hopped the wall.  When he left he had made sure that every one of those young men knew those were his daughters and were off limits.  In his apartment the Queen had gone about making herself at home.  The fact that Tiffany was helping her move furniture around meant that they had already met.  Gone was his massage table.  Amy Jo had smiled at him when he mentioned he had several clients who liked the informality of coming to his place.  Going upstairs he had to hunt for his clothes. Dressed he whistled to Samson who took his time to get back.  Amy Jo noticed he was not in uniform and asked where it was.  George told her that today he was not working at the resort as he was leading a three day trail ride into the mountains.  The look on her face hurt and he told her she and the girls were welcome to come along.  He was set straight when she said she had to work on Monday and the girls had school.  Before he left he apologized and handed his pocket calendar to her letting her know he had scheduled several jobs over the summer and wanted her to think about a good time for their celebration and where she wanted to go for their honeymoon.

Amy Jo who had been startled after finding his apartment at the numerous young women in various stages of undress had asked which one of them was the woman of the house.  All had looked at Tiffany who shook her head and said there was no woman of this house but her ex allowed them to make use of it when they needed.  Tiffany had studied her for a moment and had asked if she would be the queen who her best friend and one time lover now belonged to? The question had shocked Amy Jo but she had stood straight and said yes and said since she and George were now married she would be sharing his apartment from time to time and right now she needed help reorganizing.  Most of the young women dressed quickly and then left.  Those who remained helped rearrange furniture and the first thing to go was the massage table which thankfully was collapsible and now tucked under their bed.  Tiffany had chuckled and told her George was not going to be too happy as he liked having things his way.  When George had walked in the look on his face was one of bemusement.

When he told her he would be gone for three days after she noted he was not wearing his uniform it had startled her again and had made her angry as she had not been a part of the decision making process.  The fact she had his schedule on a small calendar did not help her mood any, what did help some was that he wanted her to think about planning a wedding celebration.  As she went about making dinner for her family and the friends of George’s who had remained It was Samantha who asked if they could stay in town with George during the school week.  The question was not answered as a couple of men came by to ask to speak to George.  Tiffany said yes they could but they had to go to the Sheriff stables to talk to him.  Neither man seemed in a hurry to leave so Amy Jo said they needed to go.  The look they gave her scared her and made her realize she was only wearing her bikini.  There was hesitancy before they actually got up and left.  Amy who had planned on staying in town that night changed her mind and went home but first went to the stables where she found George’s truck among several law enforcement vehicles. 

Those three days for Amy Jo were not the same as she now had a secret which she realized just coming and saying she and George were married by way of sleeping together was not good public relations.  The fact that several of her work friends could tell she had changed meant that during meal times she was asked about her mountain boy.  It was on Tuesday she wore the ring for the first time.  On Wednesday she stopped by his apartment early and found him sleeping on the floor.  She could not help herself and slipping her suit off crawled under the blanket where he made himself available to her even though he stayed asleep after he acknowledged her arrival by giving her a kiss and mumbling her name.  It was that afternoon when he showed up for work that he helped her out by breaking the news to the secretary in his department that he was engaged but they had not yet come up with where to hold the ceremony.  Two days later without her input the ceremony was planned and the honeymoon set by several key members of the resort staff, and the communication committee took over the planning.  George had smiled as he watched and one night when he came out to her house with Samson who would be going with Tiffany when she moved to Arkansas, Amy Jo complained to him.  He had only smiled and told her to let them plan this party as in reality they were already one and that way she could have two anniversaries one for themselves and one for everyone else.

Oh waking up with him next to her and seeing her off had been nice but having to work was now work, whereas before it was more or less her life.  For the next month being able to see George at work and having him find moments when they could sneak a kiss here and there along with him finding a couple of times for something more brought excitement to what was becoming a rather boring job.  When he left the resort at the end of the season to work on another project she felt lonely during the day.  Amy Jo felt bad about complaining to him about her days but he would let her.  When the doctor told her she had to take a maternity leave she had looked to George and asked what they were going to do, they could not afford both his apartment and her house.  As they pulled out their checkbooks, she realized how much debt she had to his couple of small credit cards and a small school loan.  When he closed his accounts and moved all of his money into hers she had gotten mad telling him those debts were her responsibility.  He had only smiled which had made her angrier. His touch kept her from going ballistic.

During those months before their marriage celebration as he called it, which was going to be held at another resort where he had helped build a ghost town for parties, she was intrigued with the fact George just went with the flow which with her mood swings kept changing.  When she made the decision to sell her house as the house was too small for two parents four teens and a newborn, moving appeared to be daunting but she watched as George just did it, he arranged for homes for the numerous animals she and the girls had collected and had taken the horses to a ranch in Colorado which was also their summer vacation.  With her truck too small he gave her his truck and sold hers.  By her third trimester none of his friends came around anymore as he had cut himself off from them.  When Amy Jo’s mom asked him if his family was coming to the party George pointed to Amy Jo and the girls and said he hoped so or he would look funny standing alone in front of everyone saying his vows to no one.  That night as they had lay in bed; George rubbed her back, she finally asked when she was going to meet his family.  His reply to her was that she and the girls were now his family.

Amy Jo had said she meant his parents, sisters, brothers. George had not said a word as he rolled away from her.  When he got up she asked where he was going and he told her he wanted to look at the stars.  She had gotten mad at him and told him to take his precious stars and shove them somewhere.  When he came back he sat down and told her he was sorry and he was done looking at stars.  As he had begun taking the girls to school he had managed to get a job coaching the football team and teaching.  When she pointed out he did not have a degree he smiled and said the last fellow did and almost killed someone because he did not think about stuff.  The day in early fall came, she had mellowed as she realized George made his decisions based on what would make her happy.  Her friends which had not quit coming around and many of whom had helped with the costumes and marriage celebration plans were all there.  George was busy putting on the finishing touches to the ghost town.  When her bridesmaids who were more or less dressed like saloon girls joined her she asked where the groomsmen were.  George surprised her when he said this was going to be a shotgun ceremony.

She had not had time to ask why as she was caught up in the excitement of the day.  Even seven months pregnant the dress he had helped design made her look awesome as Amber put it.  Just as George said this was a shotgun wedding and he was brought forward by a couple of managers of the resort he no longer worked at dressed as cavalry officers carrying shotguns.  Instead of a pastor he had arranged for an elderly judge to dress in the period clothes and officiate.   The ceremony over he had taken her to a timeshare condo someone had donated for the night and then to her favorite dance hall where only the wedding party had been invited each one paying their own way.  Once they were back at the condo she asked where his tux was and he smiled and said he had looked at them but did not see paying that much for a pair of pants he was planning on getting out of as soon as possible or a jacket he would only wear once.  She had just sat back and watched as he stripped and then let him help her.  When he had her in the shower she told him she was fat and he had said no she was pregnant, but even if she ever got fat that would not change the fact he loved her.  As he made her comfortable on the big sectional in front of the fireplace and made her up a cup of hot cocoa and served it to her au natural she could not help but stare.

She finally blurted out that he had better not ever cheat on her.  Smiling he told her he had never cheated on her and was not about to start.  When she told him she would not change for a man he had smiled and said no one had asked her to change.  Then he just stopped tilted his head sideways and looked at her with a smile on his face; when she asked what, he told her that for someone not wanting to change for a man she had certainly made some huge changes since they first met.  She started laughing as he tried to mime what he meant.  He finally gave up and helped her to stand up and rubbed her belly and ran a finger around her much enlarged glands.  She had wanted to melt but he had this idea and carried her out to the pool and helped her into the hot tub.  When she told him that they were naked he told her so was Adam and Eve when they first met and if he had to guess even after they were given the boot from their first home when they were alone they were probably dressed the same as the day they were created.  She had told him they were not alone.  Looking around he told her he did not see anyone and anyways it was past pool hours and since they had not yet gotten into the holiday season and summer season was over the villas were more empty than full.  On the way back to the condo they had to duck behind some bushes and then got soaked again when the sprinklers came on.  When they finally made it back to the condo and she into the large whirlpool bath she told him that had been exciting.  He had only looked at her softly.

The next day she found herself in the mountains in a small cabin which he said was an old line shack and since it was not used by cowboys anymore it had been converted into a getaway cabin.  For a week she did absolutely nothing she did not want to do, the cabin though small was quaint and she told him that she liked the old ranch house look.  A month later as they moved into a larger house that was in a nearby town which they had to scrub, her daughters asked why they had to work.  George said since they enjoyed shopping so much he figured he had to save money somewhere and finding a house that needed some cleaning before they could move in was just such an opportunity and the best part was they could decorate their rooms as they saw fit as long as mom said okay.  By that weekend their new house was filled with teen girls helping decorate.  Amy Jo sitting on the back porch watched as George went to work moving rocks.  When he came home with these wooden structures she asked what they were for and he explained they had been a part of a set but were about to get a new lease on life as a fence.

When she had said no he told her to stop him, since she could not she just watched and within a week he had a small yard around the patio with raised gardens complete with seats for her to sit on, a play yard with the softest soil she had ever felt on her feet which he said would be the softest carpet of grass before long.  The fact it was a yard designed with a toddler in mind got her to crying.  Then he set about to the other half of the yard which got a pond big enough for all of them to get in and stand with the water covering everything neck down, a fire pit and three large walk in cages which amazingly did not go above the cinder block wall.  Then came the animals; large iguanas, desert tortoises, flamingos he said were only visiting, two large swans, a dog and birds.  By the time he was done she had this zoo of sorts complete with some awesome foliage including this huge bamboo that blocked the neighbors from seeing into the yard.  With the privacy in place she and the girls along with their friends went to work on their tans.  Amy Jo during the last month of her pregnancy spent more time when it was warm enough during the day tending their garden aunatural and many times was surprised by him and would find him just watching.  When she heard what she thought was him one day she had intended to surprise him by meeting him at the door; thankfully she looked through the peep hole to find those two men standing at the door.  Keeping the door locked she went into the bedroom and called George.  When he got home the men were still waiting and though he did not let them inside he seemed to have a good natured relationship with the men.  When they left she asked exactly who they were.  George said they were just some old acquaintances he had lived with for a time growing up.

She had told him she did not like them and he had smiled and said he had picked up on that and they were not men he really wanted in his house ever. When she asked why he said they were made men and though they were like brothers to him he never wanted them in his house.   That night at the dinner table Amber blurted out a question asking her dad who that woman was who gave him a hug at the school was.  Amy Jo erupted and then ran into the room.  When George got her to calm down enough he said his sister whom he had not seen since he was twelve had dropped by to see him before she left for Florida.  Amy Jo asked George what was in Florida, shrugging he told her he never asked as it was not his business.  With her calmed down enough he told her that at the end of the year he was no longer going to be employed by the school district as apparently they had found a replacement coach with a degree and a new teacher.  She asked what they were going to do and he smiled and said he had already lined up work on a movie set starting the first week of January.  They did not finish the discussion as she had her first contraction.

 A week later they had another girl added to the household.  At Christmas time when it came out George would be taking a new job again her mom asked him why he could not just settle down and keep a job.  George had not gotten mad but did point to the door and told her he would send her a postcard or two from Australia.  The girls had gotten excited but Grandma had flipped her lid and said he could not take her babies to Australia at which point told her she was not in charge and she told him to shut up.  George had told her thanks for stopping by and to not let the door hit in her in the backside on the way out.  When she asked if she was being asked to leave George smiled and said no he was telling her she was not welcome in his house when he was home.  Looking at Amy he apologized and said he needed a walk and when he came back if her mom was still there he was not going to be and would find him up in the mountains at the cabin until his plane left.  Amy’s moms plane was not due to leave until after the New Year and she did not want to make her have to get a hotel room but was also not going to leave her alone with her children after her little eruption so it was George who was out of the house and when she found his plane tickets which were oneway to Australia she got mad at him.

Meeting him at the airport she found he had already replaced them and when she asked why they were oneway he told her the movie would take over a year to make and there was money set aside for her and the girls to come down as soon as their passports showed up.  When she told him her girls did not have passports he nodded and then told her he had remedied that.  Amy looked at George and asked when he was going to tell her; George asked if she had even bothered to open her presents or look in the stockings.  When she got back to the house she found a picture of the house they would be living in Australia, a set of keys to a new suburban which happened to be parked at the next door neighbors and a calendar outlining a debt repayment plan, which include what he would be making in Australia.  As far as the animals he had made arrangements for them all to go to suitable homes.  When Amy Jo’s mom tried to apologize, Amy told her she was the wrong one to apologize to.  When Amy left her at the airport she had wanted to talk to George but he was in Australia.

When she did talk to him she reminded George she had a job, the girls had school and she had to figure out childcare.  The childcare became easy as two weeks after going back to work and finding she had a new boss who would not work with her she tried to transfer and when she got no reply she quit.  George came home once during that year to a rather cool welcome and when he came back at the end of it he was sad.  Stepping in he helped her by taking over the care of the youngest.  With the cash in the bank and a rather tight budget she had adhered to they were fine and when she had finally asked George what he was going to do next he told her he had already talked to several local companies and would be doing on call work.  Within that first year back that on call work was happening almost every day.  The money coming in was great and she Amy was watching their debt become smaller but was not seeing George as much as she wanted and he was always tired as he was driving all over the southwest.  When her dad died he took time off to watch his daughter but did not go to the funeral.  When her oldest got into trouble at school to the point she was expelled from the district, Amy finally told George she could use some help.  George pointed out her mother was moving back.  Amy said she knew that and asked if he was saying her mother could help.

George broke down and told her he had tried to help but at every point he was told his help was not wanted and the girls had their schedules and she had her work and now he was stuck.  Amy asked what that meant.  George had lowered his head apologizing for being a lousy husband and father.  That had smacked Amy Jo who knew he was doing what he could to keep her and the girls fed and clothed and had given up so much of who he was.  Grabbing his hand she asked what he wanted out of his life.  It took him a long time before he said now he no longer wanted anything for himself accept to see her happy.  Amy smiled and said that was funny because she was not that happy at the moment as she never got to see her husband.  At the moment he got a call for yet another job and he apologized and said no he was not available.  Piling them all into the suburban he drove them to the top of a mountain.  There with only the family he asked what was up with school.  Four girls said school sucked and was boring.  Looking at Amy he said it seemed to him kids were bored when they were not learning something or being challenged and if those who were getting paid to keep them from being bored were failing they should fire them.  When she asked who would teach their children he smiled and said they would.  Taking their toddler by the hand he began walking with the girl, dogs tagging along and began teaching the littlest about the plants and animals on that mountain.

As she and the girls tagged along she was surprised how he could incorporate all subjects into one lesson.  In ten minutes she had learned more about her desert home than she had in her, almost forty years in life.  She had asked George again why the school district fired him.  He said politics and the fact he had no college degree.