Plans Changed The Story Continues 4

Christina finally spoke up and asked me where I had been.  I told her I had gone up to meet with Carlos and and our clients, Carlos said actually they were partners in the developments. I eyed him and nodded.  I told her after that I went and dropped off my rig at one of our yards and then rode down to our house and spent two weeks drawing up plans for several projects and then rode from there to here and camped out for a couple of weeks up in the hills before riding down and finding someone had put an alarm on the house I built with our son, but I can't help but wonder why several dozen agencies responded to an alarm going off in the middle of nowhere.  Walking to the stallion I told Carlos and Steven I would meet them back at the office, Christina asked if I was planning on riding there and I nodded telling her I had just rode down from Montana and since I no longer had a home, or technically a company since I was dead then I thought I would be fine.  Christina told me she was sorry and I asked for what.  She looked at the girls and then Christopher, when she did not say anything I told the girls and Christopher it was good to see them again.  After rounding up my string from the encampment I cleaned up the camp and headed west first through the bombing range and made it just before the next run came through.  It took me a few more days than I planned as I had to go from water hole to water hole.  Once on the ranch I turned all the horses loose except for the stallion which I rode up to the house.  After rubbing the horse down I let showed him where the hay and water was and after he had his fill I let him loose.  I found the assistant DA was waiting with a man who looked rather young to be a DA, if found he was not the DA but a detective.  He asked if I was Mr. Christensen and I told him I had heard he had recently died.

When he got a little too big for his britches I told him to settled down and for the record I was Mr. Christensen but since I was not going to talk to him he could go back to work, the young woman asked if we could all play nice and introduced me to her husband who yes was a detective with the state police.  I nodded and told him he looked a little young to be a detective.  He looked at his wife and told me technically they had no jurisdiction as my death was recorded in California.  I told him that was interesting as the last place anyone of consequence saw me I was in Montana.  He nodded and said yes that was true and after the search for me was called off by the Montana authorities someone in California started the process to have me declared dead which meant that whoever was the beneficiary of my will would gain control of my estate.  I told him since I technically owned nothing that was not much of a catch.  Smiling he said he had done some digging at the encouragement of his boss and found that my nothing was worth far more than most people's something.  I asked exactly what was his line of investigation; he said he was more or less a forensic accountant.  I told him that was interesting as one of my partners in a security consultation company was also in the same field.  Nodding he said she had caught him trying to snoop around my bank records and called him on the account I was a resident of the state of Arizona.  I asked how much he knew and he told me from what he had been told I did not care for two lawyers who seemed to be out to get me by making use of my wife.  I told him there was more to that and I was not sure they were out to get me but since I had met them my life had gone from something I wanted to partake in to something I wished I could avoid as I was getting tired of being shot at, chewed on, electrocuted and blamed for the problems of the world.  I was told that was why they were there but they were having problems finding the official reports on any of the incidences and even though they had verified my encounter with the dog there was no police report at all.

I told them they had probably dug more than they should and they should probably let it go.  The young woman said she would love to but her boss and the governor not to mention a several state representatives had now taken a personal interest in my case.  I asked what case would that be.  When they looked at each other I told them to be safe and try to stay among the breathing but having been off the grid for some time I really had not had time to piece together what had been going on.  I paused before going in and asked if they had heard what happened to the sheriff my ex had left me for.  The detective said even though he had found all the news reports and the arrest report for the sheriff he had seemingly fallen off the edge of the world and his wife was now an ex and living a whole lot better than she had been.  She asked me what I knew about a Colonel Miller.  I told her the Colonel had been a life long servant of the country.  I asked if something had happened to him.  She shook her head and said it was weird, he had been communicating with them and then sent them a message asking them to disregard all previous correspondences and the emails they had saved had been erased.  I told them he was protecting them and my recommendation was to not use electronic means of communications unless they were absolutely positive it was not being traced.  He asked when we could meet again and I told him to let me first see where I stood legally speaking being a dead man and all.  Nodding she told me that the state Attorney General was opening an investigation into the matter and would be making a statement later today and demanding an explanation from the Attorney General of California and would very much like it if I could at least meet with her and the governor.as well as the Nevada governor.and one of their Senators.  Smiling I told them the governors would be fine as well as the Attorney Generals but the governor would not want me in the same room with him unless he wanted his secrets spelled out in front of everyone.

She asked when I could meet with them.  I told her to have the governor call me.  When I heard my stallion I told them to get down and shoved her to the porch decking as I heard gun fire.  He took one to the chest and immediately knowing he had his vest on I was moving and yelling orders.  My rifle was still in the scabbard laying on the saddle in the yard.  I pulled it out as I ran toward the barn.  I watched as a rider tried to ride off on the stallion; I gave a whistle to call the stallion and when he slid to a halt the rider went over the top of the horse's head.  I told him to stay down which he was not moving as the horse had put a hoof on his back and was holding him down. I caught Steven heading toward the barn with a pistol drawn and I went over to the would be runner and waited.  As men came from other outbuildings and Steven's wife came out of the house I with a rifle followed by Christina and the colonel I patted the horse who let some of the pressure off the would be horse thief, when I bent down I realized it was the sheriff.  Steven came out of the barn carrying a rifle which as I looked up to see the state police detective rubbing his chest I told him he was lucky he only wounded the man.  I told him to stay put and try to think up a name for my horse while he was lying there.  When I went over and grabbed my tack, Christina asked if I was okay and I told her life was getting interesting; first I have find out I am dead and then I find my ex's ex had just tried to kill one of my visitors who I am guessing did not know she or the colonel were here.  Steven asked what I was going to do and I smiled and said it was Arizona and that man tried to steal my horse which I believed was still a hanging offense in this state.  I saddled the stallion and asked the sheriff if he had come up with a name yet and he spit out a string of expletives similar to the ones I had used the first time I had tried to ride the wild stallion.  I told him that would not be proper in polite company so please try again.  I saddled and tacked up the horse and then prepared the rope and when I got on the stallion I told him to let the poor man up.  The Stallion shook its head.  Leaning down I told the sheriff he might want to figure out a name so I could tell the beast to  let him up.  The horse lifted his foot and I told the sheriff never mind i figured out The Beasts name.  The sheriff did not move when we backed up and I told him he had a choice stay laying their and I would let The Beast decide his fat for trying to take him away from the lovely band of mares he has or get up and face the consequences of his poorly made decision like a man.  When he finally got up I saw the handgun and told him to drop it to the ground. Seeing that he had several weapons now trained on him he did so.

Sheathing the rifle I went over and told him to give me his hands.  I had him tied up in a matter of minutes and then tied the loose end to the horn and nudged the Beast into a walk and asked if he would like to run a little as I slipped off his back he took several jumps as if he was trying to get a start until I whistled.  When The Beast stopped the sheriff thought he had an opportunity until he found a hoof in his gut.  Christina told me to stop and I told her this was between a horse thief and the horse who apparently did not take to kindly to being stolen.  When she went out to untie the sheriff the colonel stopped her.  Walking over to the porch I gave a whistle and The Beast pranced over dragging the sheriff behind him.  I asked the state officer if he was okay and he said he had felt better but thanks to the small caliber and probably a window along with the new vest and his badge he would be fine and he had already called it in.  I nodded and told him I supposed I could save his boys some trouble and meet them halfway.  Jumping on The Beast I told the sheriff and to think I once thought he was a good man as I nudged the Beast to start walking.  We did not need to go far before a stater trooper pulled into the drive followed by several sheriff deputies.  I told the sheriff to come forward so he could turn himself in for trying to murder that nice state trooper and for trying to steel my horse.  When he decided to become hard headed I pulled him forward and pulling knife I cut his ropes; as I was sheathing it he tried to make an attempt to grab it; so I kicked him and it was not my fault his head was the closest thing to me.  As I spun the stallion I told the state trooper his boy might have a few cracked ribs and if I could get the doctor to actually look at him I would know better but feel free to come up to the house but tell the tag along's to stay put.  A deputy told me to hold on as I had just assaulted an officer of the law.  I smiled and said no I just defended myself from an escaped felon who happened to also be a horse thief and from what I had just witnessed a cop killer and the man was also trespassing but if anyone wanted to take their friends issues up with me in front of the judge I would be glad to speak of his more perverse merits.  As I rode back to the house Christina was checking on the state detective.  As I unsaddled The Beast I told him the name suited him and was easy for me to remember.  He nuzzled me and I told him if he kissed me again i would get some ideas about him especially since he had all those mares to choose from.  When we heard a winnie the stallion lowered his lower lip and as soon as I  nodded he trotted of answering the mares.  Bethany asked where I picked this one up.  I told her if she was talking about the Beast we became acquainted somewhere in Montana and as we hit Colorado he kind of joined us and we have spent the last several months becoming friends and coming to an understanding, and to appease everyone I did stop by the BLM and adopt him official.

She told me he was a beautiful horse but unlike any wild mustangs she had ever seen.  I told her he was not full mustang if he had any at all even though he had run with a group of young wild stallions that had been on the governments hit list.  She smiled and said it seemed some old habits died hard.  I nodded and said I supposed they did.  After telling the same story to the local sheriff concerning the ex sheriff as did the detective who handed him the vest and the badge to look at as well as the small caliber rifle which Steven had already wiped for prints and had sent them on to some friends of his.  I told her I really could use a shower and she told me my room was still in the same place albeit a little bit more crowded as all of my earthly possessions they could gather were boxed up and stacked in my room.  I told her thanks and she told me not to thank her but my children and hers who had all held onto their position that I was not finished with my living.  I asked and what was her opinion; laughing she asked how long had we been working together and this was not the longest stretch where she had to wear the pants in out business.  I told her she did such a fine job and she told me that was why I had agreed to give her a raise before I left.  As I headed inside she told me for the record she liked those communities I designed and they were already ninety percent sold out and they were just now in the process of laying infrastructure.  I asked for the record how much of the pie did we actually own.  Smiling she said between us and Carlos we owned eighty five percent and of that we owned seventy five percent.  I told her on my ride I had been thinking about going back home.  She nodded and said that was good as they had just acquired a nice complex right on the river with office space, restaurants, a hotel and retail space which she would like to see remodeled.  I asked what side of the river and she told me I should already know the North side had a theater and the newspaper.  I looked around and she told me she and Steve had discussed it and thought we should keep the ranch for those boys who just needed to get out of the cold on their days off.  I nodded and told her to make that happen.  Smiling she said she already put things into motion and as soon as I laid out the arrangements of the guest cabins and drew up the plans she and Steve would see to it getting done.  Walking into my room I had to stop as though I could get to the bathroom and the closet, the bed had been dismantled to make room for what looked like hundreds of plastic tubs.  I surely did not remember owning that much crap ever.

I found the closet also stuffed; it took me some time to gather clean clothes.  I was aware when Christina came in and when i got out I mostly ignored her.  As I finally was dressed with pants on she asked if i was mad at her.  I told her what gave her that impression and then asked what it really mattered.  She told me it was because she was still in love with me.  I grunted and went about looking for a clean shirt she pointed to the dufel bag and told me I had left it in the suburban.  I found a t-shirt and after pulling it one she asked if I had lost wait.  I told her it happens when you are having to find food where you can.  After gathering up my trail clothes I went down and through them in the laundry.  Walking into the great room office the state troopers were still there and asked when could I meet with the governor.  I told them at the moment I had business to see to but have the governor give me a call.  I walked out and gathered my gear and after putting the saddle on the rail, I carried the rifle inside and put it into the cabinet.  The collection had grown.  I looked at Steve who pointed to his wife and she shrugged and said she liked Arizona for that reason and the fact it was not as humid as home.  I nodded and asked if that meant she was planning on staying, she nodded and said if she had her choice yes and since we were on the subject of where she would be working from she might want to know we had also picked up a couple of properties in the city and wanted me to take a look at the top three floors and create her something she could work out of.  I nodded and taking a seat at one of the desks was told that was no longer mine.  I asked where then would she like me to sit.  She pointed to the kitchen and told me the dining room would work for now.

Plugging in my phone after pulling it out of my saddle bags I pulled out my computer and several documents. One of them was the adoption papers on the stallion.  I handed them to Bethany who said she would make sure it got to my lawyer.  I asked who my lawyer might be.she told me I had not met her yet but she was not unfamiliar with working with the government and was currently dropping paperwork in several different states with the help of our security consultants which is why the colonel had so kindly brought her best friend from childhood to come visit.  Christina came in and joined us in the kitchen.  As the detective was waiting for his wife who was on the phone he came in and I asked if anyone had offered him something to eat or drink.  He sat down and looked up and said he almost died today; I told him thankfully he listened to his wife and wore the vest.  He asked if that was what had saved me and I told him in my line of work a vest was actually a hindrance most of the time but yes at times I had worn them particularly when we had worked out in the oil fields in another desert as people like to shoot at us.  He said he missed out on that and asked how long I had been over there.  I told him technically I had never been over there in the manner he was thinking as I had worked as a field engineering contractor but they liked to snipe on us and thought we made good soft targets and the reality of being a field engineer meant that I had been going over there for almost my entire adult life as much of my work was in the energy industries and in security consultations.  When he told me that must have been a pretty penny I told him that had never been my department but he was free to check with my ex wife who was still getting my paycheck.  He nodded and told me when he had the chance he would need to talk to her.  I nodded and pointed to Christina who looked at me.  I told them I would be right outside; he told her if she preferred to have her lawyer present or talk at his offices they could do that.  I was sitting on the front porch when he walked out with his wife and told me good luck as he nodded inside.  When Christina came out I asked if I was okay and she told me she had never been questioned as if she was a common criminal.  I told her common criminals were put into the back of cars with pretty lights on top and driven down to the station house for questioning.

When the colonel came out she asked if all that had been necessary and he said since she had married the would be cop killer and had been at the heart of declaring me dead yes it was necessary.  She asked what was she supposed to have thought and I told her when you divorce someone for whatever he real reason was and then marry another you should just move on and let the half you broke off try to do the same.  She told me she did not want to be divorced anymore.  I told her at the moment I could not help her with that as my status among the living was up to the political maneuverings of the courts and the lawyers.She asked if that meant when I was told I was alive if I would consider marrying her again.  Grabbing her hand I told her to start lets try being civil  and her getting those two sharks off my back and maybe an apology.  She told me she would be glad if I would apologize to her.  I blinked and asked what for; she told me for starters leaving her alone to raise the children day in and day out.  I asked if that was why she she slept with our neighbor and then with all of those women and after I thought we were getting somewhere she dropped me while I was in the hospital for her lawyer and the sheriff.  Looking down I told her I was sorry in that I helped finance her illicit behavior while most of my adult life I lived most of my adult life just above the poverty level.  Standing up I went over and poked my head in the door and asked if there was a court order for me to pay alimony.  Beth came out and told me know there was not, I told her to tell payroll to stop sending my checks to my ex wife and to please tell our legal department to prepare the paperwork to give her back her medical facilities and her houses in the mountains and the desert.  Beth told me the medical facilities were loaded with debt as was that ranch in the desert.  I asked if the debt was caused by something we had done and she said no but as they were still sifting through the books... she trailed off and then told me to at least let her finish with the audit and since all of those properties were under a separate partnership I could just as well make Christina a partner and then torn over that partnership to her once the audit was complete.  Nodding I told her to do it if the cash flow was there and to help her out please hire someone preferably an outside vendor to go over those books and revoke all access to any of the bank accounts to all of its employees and remove authorization from any of the senior doctors; I stood thinking for a moment and then told her I wanted to meet with the staffs of both the medical centers and to please have our own forensic accountant call me with a list of names of people she trusts to help her quietly.  Beth asked if there was anything else, I nodded and told her it seemed I was overdue to take a look at some of our field operations so if she could please book the flights on public carriers.

She asked about Ben, and I told her if she wanted to continue using him I was okay with it but all my future air travel would be done on public carriers unless it was an emergency and she should find all of my numerous frequent flier memberships still in good standing.  She asked if I would be having the company pay for my miles or would I be paying for them.  I told her for now I would be and to give me a detailed accounting of my personal bank accounts.  She told me that was easy at the moment all had been closed except for the one I opened and had not touched.  Looking at her she told me it had grown some would say substantially.  I told her that account was in California; she said yes it was but since it was actually a foreign bank for all intensive purposes the management had ignored the legal stupidity that had been taking place in my short absence.  I nodded and told her I would be driving out to talk to them and would need a vehicle.  Sitting back down I was working on the bigger picture and wondering how the people were interconnected which is always the first place one needs to look if something appeared to be a conspiracy or organized.  Christina broke me out of my thoughts when she told me this was really a mess.  I asked her what was and she told me our life.  I told her mine was rather simple at the moment, I technically owned nothing, owed nothing and had to answer to no one.  She asked what about us and I told her she made the choice to end us why I was still not clear on but the fact remained she chose to quit us.

For a long time we sat in silence, I cleared my head and for a time was able to forget the past, I could almost see tiny ones running around at Grandma and Grandpa's house.  Then she broke the silence and asked if I thought she was going to go to jail.  I shrugged and told her I was not her judge and jury and could not see into the future as my plans were to by this time for us to be sitting on our front porch watching the grass grow.  I looked at her and told her I only wanted to know whose idea it was to have me declared dead.  She sighed and said she did not think it was anyone's idea, it was just after they had given up the search after I disappeared.  I smiled and asked why they were even searching for me.  She grabbed her hair and pulled it back and I told her she was cute when she was frustrated and trying to think how to best say something.  She told me to stop and at least let her finish before trying to seduce her.  I shook my head and told her I was not trying to seduce her, I was just pointing out she was cute when she got frustrated and did that thing with her hair.  Reaching up she pulled her hair back,  I told her it was more than pulling her hair back as she also if she was sitting tended to lift her legs and touch the ground with only her toes and push out her chest in defiance to the world, like that picture of her favorite actress.  As she mimicked the actress I told her she usually did not smile but bit her lips and looked out of the corner of her eyes to see what I was looking at.  At the moment I was looking directly at her and letting my eyes move down, I stopped when I realized she had nothing on under her dress.  She told me as she gave me a little push I was as bad as all the rest.  I told her how did admiring make me as bad as all the rest and she still did not answer my question.  Spinning around she put her feet on my lap, without thinking I began to massage them as she leaned her shoulders over the side of the wicker couch we were sitting on.  As she sat back up she told me I had been so depressed when I left they had been afraid I would just give up.  I laughed and told her I had not been depressed; she nodded and told me she did not believe me.  I shrugged and told her when I left to go to a business meeting not only was my ex mad at me for who knows what but so were my children blaming me for every decision their mom had made as if I should just accept the fact I was supposed to have shared my wife with anyone and everyone and then there was that little hussy I wish I had never met or saved from a really bad night which then brought us to two other women one of which for some reason thought here was something between us and my old business partner of sorts who I think also had intentions toward me and they too were also mad at me for what appeared to be the same reason as my children.

She told me she had not been mad at me; I stopped rubbing her feet and told her when a woman starts screaming vulgar names at you it generally signified she was mad or there was some serious chemical imbalance according to the medical experts.  Shrugging I told her either way since I had no claims on any of them I chose not to partake of their little tantrums and go on vacation.  Shaking her head she told me most people tell someone they were going on vacation first.  I told her I had no one to tell when she asked what about her I told her the last time I checked she had divorced me which in my mind since there were no young children involved meant I did not need to involve myself with her daily life.  She pulled her feet off my lap and sat Indian Style and told me if that was the case why did I keep coming around.  I told her the only time I came around was to offer to buy back my company and get chewed on by her dogs it was she who kept showing up on my doorstep after failing to steal my new ventures.  Standing up she grabbed her hair and made several grunting, screaming type sounds and as she looked down at me she caught me looking at her breasts.  She told God I was a man and I told him I agreed with her and then asked why he had to make it so women were so darn cute when they were angry for no reason.  She leaned down and pushed on my shoulders and told me she had not been trying to steal anything as she knew she was unable to manage a business.  I asked her then why when we she divorced me did she take me to the cleaners.  She told me the person she normally went to for legal advice could not be found so she left it up to her lawyers.  I asked if they were behind me being declared dead. because like so many others who have tried to find me when I do not want to be found they could not; not that I was trying to hide and if someone actually knew what they were doing they could have tracked me not only by the trail I left behind but also by the people I had met along the way.

Beth came out after Christina sat back down and put her feet up again; she eyed me and I raised my hands, she handed me a stack of documents to read over and sign.  Mostly it was the necessary reports for government agencies more or less stating we the members of this LLC or that LLP agreed to such and such.  The last three documents I spent more time reading, I asked Beth if she had read them and she told me the various minutes she had written so yes but there were three documents on the bottom which had arrived about a month ago and looked to be of a personal nature, I stood up and told Christina to put a leash on her lawyers or we would end up in court.  Walking in I handed the documents to Bethany and told her to tell me what she thought, she glanced through them and then handed them to Steven who after the first one asked why did those he caught himself when he saw Christina in the doorway.  I told him to send copies of those with a letter stating that absolutely in no shape or form would they be allowed to see my bank records.  I looked at Christina and asked Steven if he knew how to contact the detective who just left as I figured he might want copies as well and have our legal staff start the process of bringing suit against their legal firm in as many courts as possible and then subpoena their records as it appeared they were essentially managing Christina's business affairs up until we took FES over.  Christina asked what was going on and I told her she might want to find a new lawyer if she really wanted to stay out of jail or come clean on those two women and who they were really working for.  She asked how should she know who their other clients were.  I shrugged and said if I was going to trust a lawyer to do more than push paper I would know everything about them other than the fact they were fun in bed.  Beth told me that was enough.  I nodded and told her I would be heading to California, and would like to meet with the Governors and AG's at one of the Indian owned resorts, quietly.

Steven asked if I thought that was wise and I told him I also needed to see to some other matters and if anyone sees the colonel please tell him to stop meddling in my life.  He walked in right at that moment and asked why I thought he was meddling, I told him to let me think about it, shortly after I head out to find a new job I run into a situation and he shows up.  Then I am tucked away unbeknownst to any of those people who should be notified after he gets involved, my wife who promised me she would not divorce me does so under his watchful eye and then marries a real winner who thought it would be fun if my now ex wife brought my daughter's to bed with them.  His eyes opened and I asked if I should go on.  I told him I understand his taking all of the money from my settlements and needing a place to stay but please do me no favors and let my affairs be as I was done and out and he could tell whoever he wished I was not going back and would defend myself accordingly.  He told me he had nothing to do with any of the attempts on my life.  I nodded and told him thanks for that small favor but to please stop interfering with my life as though I really did not care for how it has turned out it was the only one I have.  When he asked if I was going to get back together with my wife I told him since I was not married that would be kind of hard to do and if he was referring to his niece I would have to spend some serious time on my knees in thought.  I went back outside and heard the colonel make the comment that it appeared I might be a little mad.  Walking back inside I took out the rifle and pulled out a pistol with holster from the cabinet.  Walking upstairs the colonel told me if I was looking for my phone he had it.  Turning around I went and took it from him and dropping it on the floor and crushed it and then told Beth I would need another phone.and had no cash on me.  She went to a safe and opening it up she pulled out a brand new phone still in its packaging.  Taking it I told him as far as we were concerned we were done.  Christina told me he was her uncle and I told her yes he was but he was not mine.  As I opened up the package he told me I had always been like a son to him; I told him no I had been just another one of his pawns and thanks to him I no longer had a family but unlike his other pawns I was the one of those he and all the rest could disavow and did so when I happened to serve my purpose. He asked if that was what I really thought, I told him it was blatantly office that those just like him had decided instead of admitting they were wrong they had decided to save face and do away with the man who could name names or at least discredit him.

When he told me I could not win against them I told him I was not trying to win but live out my life in peace and as I had told his niece when the day came for the bullet with my name on it I was ready.  I handed him the handgun and turned around to walk away, I knew he had pointed it at the back of my head as I walked away but I really no longer cared.  Why he did not pull the trigger I have no idea, but it did tell me the man did have a heart somewhere deep inside.  I was saddling up The Beast when Christina came out mad, angry, sad and hurting.  When she looked at me I told her to tell Christopher if he wanted to meet a real life honest to goodness spy all he had to do was get to know his great uncle.  She told me he had been ready to shoot me and I nodded.  Looking back at the ranch house where the colonel and Steven were now sitting on the front porch talking I told her like I told her before one day I expected there would be a bullet with my name on it and when it came I preferred it happened when I was alone.  She asked why and I told her for one I did not want to see anyone else hurt and if I was not alone whoever was sent would not want to be known unless they used someone like the sheriff who had a grudge against me for bringing what he did in the night into the light, which makes me wonder how he knew where to find me.  She looked around and then said they had talked on the phone yesterday, I nodded and told her next time she decided to shack up with a lunatic to get one with better aim.  She I could tell had been hurt by that but held her tongue, I told her I was sorry for being a poor excuse for a husband and a father over the years but she should really look at moving on.  She asked if why I had not moved on; I looked away and told her I had.  She confronted me and asked with who.  I shook my head and asked why my choosing to live alone on my own terms was not considered moving on.  She asked if I was happy; shaking my head I told her the man who I should be ably to trust most just held a gun at the back of my head and the woman I had loved had chosen to love others and my children chose to believe it was my fault so happiness in my world was out of the question.  As I mounted she asked where I was going and I told her I had no cash, I did not have a vehicle here and I needed to get to California.

She asked if I was nuts as it was a five hour drive; I told her and by horse it was longer so I needed to get going or I would be late.  She told me to let her at least drive me since she was using my car; I asked what happened to hers and she looked down and said she kind of wrecked it on the way back from Montana.  I asked if she was okay and she looked at me and said the accident happened months ago.  I told her in that case I would see her in the morning, she asked where I was going until then and I shrugged saying I was just going for a ride.